The story of our daughter's birth

As a Christian woman, there are times within my faith where I may talk to God and ask Him questions, and feel unheard. There also are times where His presence is so apparent, it moves me to my core. And, on February 2nd, He was everywhere, surrounding us.

My pregnancy was nothing short of magical. I loved every minute of it. But, in the last few weeks, I was miserable. My left hip would lock all the time; I had sciatica on the right; and the constant pelvic pain I felt from symphysis pubis dysfunction was overwhelming. By the time I hit 38 weeks, I was ready for the baby to come out.

When I wasn’t feeling any contractions at 39 weeks, we tried everything to induce labor, including getting my membranes stripped four days prior to giving birth. Still nothing. On top of it, I am the type of individual that gets a little anxious when I don’t know what to expect or how something will feel, so having no prior knowledge of what the “I’m in labor” signs are certainly didn’t help.

On Tuesday (2.2), I woke up at 1:40 a.m. for my nightly bathroom break — where the lights are never turned on as I waddle my way to the toilet. However, something in my gut told me to turn on the lights and check out what was going on, which immediately turned into a realization that I had lost my mucus plug. From then on, Vince said I was up every hour using the restroom, and I felt a little crampy. At 7 a.m., I got out of bed and told my husband today might be the day. Thirty minutes later, my water broke.

In true Karolina fashion, as my husband is trying to rush me out of the door and I begin to have contractions, I tell him I cannot leave until I curl my hair, even though I knew the right answer was to head to the hospital right away… So what did I do? I absolutely breathed through every contraction and finished curling my hair :) We arrived at the hospital a little after 9 a.m.

My birth plan was to deliver vaginally unmedicated. By the time the nurse confirmed I was dilated and effaced (3 cm, 80% at this point), I received a negative covid test result, and was taken to the room, my contractions have gotten stronger. I specifically remember sitting on the edge of the bed as the nurse was trying to get me to lie down while telling me I was doing great… I looked her straight in the eyes and, in a very stern voice, said, “I NEED AN EPIDURAL NOW!”

My birth plan stated if I do ask, a “walking epidural” should be administered to provide pain relief but not make me lose sensation of the lower half of my body. And, contrary to what my obgyn communicated, the nurse said they don’t offer that. Here’s the funny part: I felt like I was getting some pain relief, but I could still feel my legs. I later learned due to having a preexisting heart condition, for some odd reason, the epidural didn’t fully take and I essentially had a “walking epidural.” Talk about divine intervention.

Within hours, I was completely dilated and 100 percent effaced, so it was time to push. Because of the faulty epidural, I was able to feel every contraction and notify the staff, who, along with Vince, fabulously coached me through the pushing.

It was glorious. The room had two big windows, and the sunshine was beaming in. Vince was playing worship music, which helped both to calm my mind and distract me from the pain. I was singing and praising Jesus the whole time, and within 35 minutes (with a total of around five hours of true labor), Leoni Victoria was born.

Leoni, meaning “lioness, strength, courage,” and Victoria to honor Vince’s paternal grandfather (Victor), our uncle (Victor “Vito”), and my mom (Viktoryia). She weighed 8 pounds and 4 ounces, measured 20.5 inches, and arrived at 2:39 p.m.

She came out wide-eyed and without a cry, instantly latched on, and spent the next six hours with her eyes open taking in her first hours of life outside of the womb. It was pretty special having her stare back at me in those initial moments.

I would be lying if I said I had fear or anxiety that day. I didn’t because I knew God was there. He helped me have control over my breathing and stay in great spirits by humoring the staff with my one-liners. He ensured encouraging nurses were in my room, and not someone else’s. He gave Vince the right words to say.
I wish words could sum up what I felt during those 35 minutes. I sensed –and still do – God making Himself known to me through people and their generosity the last week, through the little moments we shared in that room as a family of three, and through the tranquil aura that surrounds my daughter. Becoming a mom on 2.2.21 was the most serene and beautiful experience of my existence.

When we seek Him, we will find Him. Matthew 7:7

P.S. The song that was playing when she was born is “I Can Only Imagine” by MercyMe. I still cry when I play it during feedings :)