Our Journey to Pregnancy Q&A
Finding out you are expecting is truly one of the most magical moments. But, what leads up to that moment isn’t always the most joyous of rides. I know there are many who have struggled for much longer than we have, so please know my heart goes out to all of you. Every journey is different, so here is a little glimpse into ours.
What is your due date?
February 5th, 2021 — a day before my birthday! Today, I am 15 week pregnant and expecting a girl.
How did you find out you’re pregnant?
I have always envisioned pulling off an incredible surprise when telling Vince, but when reality came, I panicked. It was Sunday, May 31 when we came home from a weekend of boating, and I felt “funny.” Call it women’s intuition, but my body was telling me something was off, so I took a test. When I saw the faint second line, I almost fainted, and quickly ran out with the box in hand to show Vince. After months of wishful thinking and feeling disappointed, I felt like my eyes were betraying me. I asked him if the test corresponded to the box’s indicators, to which he replied, “yes!”
We are both realists, so after I shed my tears of joy, I instantly messaged my doctor for a blood test. I didn’t want to get too excited, and was already taking multiple tests that day to confirm what I kept seeing over and over — a surreal feeling. The next day, we found out we were indeed expecting!
How long have you been trying for?
It took us a year to conceive. One of my friends recommended this ovulation and pregnancy strip kit from Amazon, which proved to be both effective and financially efficient for a serial test taker :)
I also used the Ovia Fertility and Cycle Tracker app to manage the month-to-month planning.
I’d like to point out that every body is different, meaning when you go off of birth control, you can’t predict how long it’ll take for your body to adjust. Most doctors and articles will tell you it takes your body, on average, 3-6 months to reset, but it took me much longer. And, of course, after you hear that stat, paired with finding out it took someone one try, you begin to panic. DON’T!
How did you manage the months of negative test results?
I have found there are many topics of pregnancy that women don’t often talk about — some out of fear of being shamed for not being optimistic/grateful for the journey, and others simply because they want their privacy. I will start out by saying because I am an open book, I am okay with admitting it was absolutely emotionally draining. I felt like a failure, that something was wrong with me. There were many moments where I questioned God.
In the grand scheme of things, I am grateful for the timing. I was tackling various health issues that could have made it difficult to carry, like having a heart condition. I was idolizing having a baby versus trusting God’s plan. And, I was putting an enormous amount of pressure on myself, which does impact how your body responds. I truly couldn’t have made it through if it wasn’t for my husband and a few of my girlfriends. They were my rock in the weeks I struggled, constantly leading me to lean on my faith and offering the best pick-me-ups.
The lesson I learned here is the journey is no one’s but your own, so don’t feel like you have to share everything with everyone. Communicate your feelings with your partner so you two are on the same page, and be confident in answering, “we’re enjoying being married for now and there’s no rush,” when people (especially family) bombard you with baby questions.
Are you finding out the gender? What are you hoping for?
WE’RE HAVING A GIRL! We chose to do a non-invasive blood test called MaterniT 21 (or NIPT if you’re talking to your doctor), which can be done as early as 12 weeks. It screens for certain chromosomal abnormalities that could affect your baby’s health and development, and can also detect if you’re having a boy or a girl.
Vince and I would’ve been happy either way, but are stoked for a little baby dolly :)
How is it being pregnant during COVID?
I have adapted the “glass half full” mentality for the sake of my mental health, so honestly, great! Depending on where you are in your 9-month journey, or where you are located, the experience varies. Although Vince wasn’t allowed in for the first appointment, which did make me sad, he is able to be present for all ultrasounds (the most important appointments IMO), and my doctor has been nothing short of incredible in ensuring I feel safe and supported.
Have you had any food aversions or morning sickness? How are you handling it?
June was rough. Even water made me sick. I don’t specifically have any known aversions, but I do often order or make something only to not want to eat it when it is presented. I also like to vomit bile if I’ve eaten anything acidic. My take on this is listen to your body… Don’t force anything, do your best to stay hydrated, and don’t feel guilty if you just need to be on the couch or want to eat pizza. I am in the stage now where all I want to do is sleep, and I am so fortunate to have an understanding husband! I remind myself that my body is growing a whole human being, which is super cool and is a lot of hard work, so I go easy on the guilt.
I suck on these drops for nausea relief, and try to get as much fresh air as possible. I am also the QUEEN of baths, so those have been heavenly when it comes to relaxation and making me feel better. Just be sure to consult your doctor if it is safe for you as every case is different, and only get in if the water is warm (not hot).
Any likes or dislikes?
Other than feeling uncomfortable in my body and my pants not fitting, I don’t have any dislikes so far. I am thoroughly enjoying the ever-growing bump and watching Vince talk to the belly — truly the sweetest thing. I feel blessed to get to carry (and bring) new life into this world!
What are you looking forward to the most?
Eek, being a girl mom, matching outfits, decorating the nursery, etc. Most importantly, watching Vince melt like butter! She will be the apple of his eye, and it already has been heartwarming to watch his excitement grow day by day. I think I will fall in love with him ten times over as I experience him being a dad.
On a final note, I want to emphasize that if you are struggling to conceive, my heart goes out to you. Don’t ever lose hope and trust the greater plan <3