Do you ever feel like going into a donut shop, buying a dozen and just eating them in one sitting? Yeah, me neither.
However, starting off my day with a delicious donut from “brewnuts” in Cleveland – they infused their dough with beer, hence the name – sounded like a great idea.
This week’s #WeddingWednesday is rather special as it doesn’t deal with wedding planning tips or how-to’s. Actually, it touches on the role of the bride, everyone’s expectations and takeaways.
Let me start with expectations. I know weddings are exciting – I’m actually having one and I bounce up and down with disbelief that I’m getting married, every day. If you are not affiliated with the wedding, are not in this stage of your life or you are a wedding attendee, I bet you’re just as excited and curious about all of my wedding details, but please ease up on the inquiries. Wedding planning is unbelievably stressful and the last thing I, the bride, want to do is talk about it over and over again with the same person. Brides are normal people, too, and they have lives outside of the planning process!
Quite frankly, sharing YOUR expectations for MY wedding induces anxiety and makes me question every decision I make. Your words ring in my ears every time I meet with a vendor, and I, the perfectionist and the host, have a hard time following my vision because I am trying to please you, the attendee, versus sticking to what we are envisioning for our big day.
The best thing you can offer is some sense of humor, vendor recommendations, things NOT to do/wish you had done and your time/help. Remember why God created marriage, and rejoice in its meaning and the couple, and worry less about the little things.
To the bride-to-be: Breathe.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the smallest of details, but realize that at the end of the day, no one but you and your partner will know if something didn’t go according to plan because everyone will be slap happy dancing the night away. Plus, being engaged is such a special time for you two to grow your love, so enjoy calling your beau “fiancé” for as long as you’ve got before you’re forever stuck with him (just kidding).
Also, YOU ARE GOING TO WANT EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. Etsy will be your best friend and your greatest enemy, and scrolling through Instagram until 3 AM will be very real. Sitting down with your loved ones and creating a budget will help you determine what is a “want” and what is a “need,” and will save you lots of stress down the road.
IT’S ABOUT YOU TWO, GIRLFRIEND.
Although I personally have a hard time making things about myself, know that this experience is all about you and your boo. It is totally okay to put your foot down if people are overstepping their boundaries by inserting their opinions without being asked. People get excited, but they also forget brides walk a fine line between being a nice, happy bride and a bridezilla, so forgive easily and stick by your convictions. You can’t please everyone.
If someone offers to help with something, don’t say no. Kindly accept their generosity and time. If your girlfriends want to do something nice for you, let them. They’re there to lift you higher and remind you of how awesome you really are. If you live a boujee lifestyle but want simplicity for your wedding, so be it! You have a vision, so follow your heart.
Don’t forget about your parents – if your mom wants to do something out of this world, go with it. Realize that it’s a special time for her and your dad as well, and they want in on the fun.
P.S. My motto is “boujee on a budget.” This is America – where sales are a real thing.
Enjoy the moments, laugh often and have fun — people will look back on this and reminiscence about how awesome the experience was and what a fabulous individual were. If you are about to have a heart attack, go get yourself a glass of wine. Better yet, stuff yourself with donuts. Sugar makes everyone nice.