Growing up with Lance Armstrong, you’d think I would evolve into a cycling enthusiast, taking the Cleveland Metroparks by storm and participating in every bike race around the country. Instead, I grew up to stand on the sidelines, camera ready in one hand and a nice, cool bottle of water in the other.
Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a nice cycling session… On a stationary bike… In the basement of my house… Where I can turn on “E! News” and have a quick snack in between. You can imagine I was in for a rude awakening when I showed up in shorts, a cute top and pigtails to a “bicycle” date with an avid cyclist.
To save y’all the embarrassment, here are some tips on how to date a cyclist.
Step 1. Embrace your lack of athletic ability
Ladies, it is A-okay if God didn’t bless you with mad athletic skills to be the next Serena Williams. If you set the precedent from the start, your man won’t judge you for your lack of athleticism. Plus, when you do kick his butt in a sport or some kind of activity, he’ll be more impressed and think you’re a rockstar 😉
Step 2. Blame everything on asthma
This one speaks for itself.
Step 3. Give in to him lapping you
There is no shame in you being slow when it comes to cycling and there is no shame in having to take breaks. I always thought my legs were the strongest parts of my body, but I quickly realized that was false after three miles into our hilly ride. Although it may bother some of you that he is nowhere to be found (this was a date after all), with time, I came to enjoy my solitude and learned to appreciate the environment around me. Plus, it felt like a treat to see his bright red helmet coming my way and motivated me to push myself for another three miles.
Step 4. Sunglasses are your best friend
Not only do they prevent bugs from getting nice and cozy in your eyeballs, but they prevent people from recognizing you, too. I will never forget the day we finally made it home and I received a text message inquiring if I was biking in the Valley Parkway earlier. Here’s how that went:
Person: “Were you by any chance biking in the parkway just now?”
Me: “Uh why, what’s up?”
Person: “Well, this person looked like you and they were really struggling to make it up the little hill. I thought the bike might start rolling down the opposite way. No way that was you, you’re more athletic than that.”
Let’s just say I’ve learned how to disguise myself since then.
Step 5. Dress to impress
If you can’t match the athletic ability of the riders, at least you can look good being your beau’s biggest fan. And yes, matching his jersey is always acceptable.
Good luck to all the riders racing in #Pelotonia this weekend to end cancer!